Why Men Hate Going to Church (Completely Revised and Updated) by David Murrow

Powerful and dead on.

Published 2011 by Thomas Nelson
237 pages, including end notes.

David Murrow has put a lot of thought into why men do not go to church. I am in my mid-40s and have gone to church all of my life, with the exception of 2 or 3 years right after college where my wife and I went every once in a while at best.  We have been at the same church for 18 years.

We have a great church but we do have wives that come to church without their husbands week in and week out - not many, but after reading this book and being made more aware of the issue I am sure I will notice more. Murrow has studied and interviewed and talked and listened about this topic for years and he has come up with 12 reasons that men do not come to church. Among them are:

-I'll hate church, like when I was a kid;

-I'll lose control;

-If I become a Christian, I'll become soft;

-Church is full of hypocrites;

-All they want is my money;

-I'm jealous (women who idolize the pastor or men resenting the time their wives spend at church);

-I'm being held to an impossible standard.

I've heard all of these excuses (and more) for not going to church and I've had those thoughts myself so I got it when Murrow discusses these topics. Sometimes he even brought up things that I hadn't even realized I was bothered by, such as songs and church language that emphasize "relationship and romance" (p. 99) Men, if you have not noticed, are notoriously clutzy, as a group, with relationships. Don't talk about being intimate with Jesus. Not a comfortable image for most guys. Instead, give men a mission (like the old Blues Brothers movie where Jake and Elwood tell everyone they "are on a mission from God.").

The problem is that church, like school, has gradually become an environment run by women, maintained by women and very female-centric. It is highly verbal, lots of talk about relatioships, full of songs that Murrow refers to as "Jesus is my boyfriend" songs (he fulfills your every emotional need and holds you in his arms). The largest Christian music radio network is K-Love. My wife loves it. I don't. She ought to love it - it is aimed at a mythical listener named "Kathy" - a thirty-something soccer mom with two kids, a minivan and a mortgage. 2/3 of K-Love listeners are women and a whole lot of their songs are soft rock "Jesus is my boyfriend" stuff. (pages 66-7) 

Men feel like they are not welcome by the decor, the songs, the style of service and the lack of things they can do to participate. Who wants to stay where they are not welcome?

I am a public school teacher. I can testify to the fact that boys and girls tend to learn differently. Church (and the sermon) is the weekly chance to teach men and women about the Christian faith. Do not make this experience all "girl friendly" and leave out many (but not all) men because the church favors one gender's way of doing things (Murrow actually presents statistics that show that women stay and enjoy church even if it really tilted towards a man's way of thinking).

Murrow provides lots of examples of what to do and what not to do, including success stories (including one from a church led by a female pastor - statistically the worst indicator of male involvement). I was excited by the chapter entitled "How Men Minister to Others" - lots of great ideas. It made me think about how two of our most active leaders were motivated to become more involved by mens' retreats. One really did not want to go, but he came back all fired up because he found out there were regular guys at church who drink beer while they study the Bible (yes, we do, but only on the mens' retreat) and he has organized and participated in any number of activities (as well as being an Elder). The second guy I was thinking about went on a weekend servant event (I went, too) - we helped a family re-do their home after a devestating flood (this event was organized by the first guy I was talking about) and had a couple of small Bible studies, played some cards, and had a real good time when we were not working. I enjoyed it but the second guy was inspired to really get involved and he has not slowed down a bit.

My wife is reading this book next (I talked about it while I was reading it) and we're passing it on to others in our church. Who knows what will happen?

The book has an accompanying discussion guide available at Murrow's website: http://www.churchformen.com/ .

I rate this book 5 stars out of 5.

This book can be found on Amazon.com here: Why Men Hate Going to Church.

Reviewed on January 6, 2011.

I received this book as part of Thomas Nelson's BookSneeze program in exchange for an honest review.

The Politically Incorrect Guide to the British Empire (P.I.G. Series) by H. W. Crocker III

A breezy look at a worthy topic

Published in 2011 by Regnery Publishing, Inc.
394 pages including extensive notes and an index.

Generally intended as an antidote to the slanted education that many of us have received, the Politically Incorrect Guide (P.I.G.) series is an entertaining series loosely based on the "Idiots Guide..." and the "Dummies..." books.

The Politically Incorrect Guide to the British Empire is an immensely readable look at the British Empire - it's origins, its ideals, its controversies and its rather abrupt ending after World War II. The format of the book is pretty simple. Crocker picks an area of the British Empire and than gives a brief (15-25 pages) history of the Empire in that part of the world, from beginning to end. Then, he focuses on several of the personalities mentioned in the brief history with biographies that go into greater detail.

Sir Francis Drake (1540-1596)

Those personalities are way more interesting than bland descriptions of policy edicts issued from the Lord such-and-such from the Ministry of This-and-that. The focus on the men that made the Empire makes this an interesting book from one end to the other. I especially enjoyed Sir Francis Drake, Sir Henry Morgan and General Charles George Gordon. Throw in sidebar articles with titles like "Nearly 1,000 Englishman against more than 55,000 soldiers of the nawab of Bengal = advantage England", "Kipling on the American War of Ingratitude - er, Independence" and "Films about British Africa That Anti-Colonialists Don't Want You to See" and you have the recipe for an entertaining, surprisingly breezy book that gives an interesting counter-argument to the crowd that argues that Western colonization ruined the world.

The question is, does the argument succeed? Was the British Empire a positive force for good? Is it like the front cover says: "Three cheers for colonialism!"

Well, yes and no. Did the British Empire spread the ideas of free speech, democracy, rights and responsible government around the world? Certainly. This book champions those notions and makes a series of strong arguments. But, rarely it is asked, "But, at what cost?" I can be certain that if I lived in Africa and if I were going to be colonized by a European power, I would want it to have been the British Empire. By far, they were the most humane, most generous and did their best to impart their ideals to their subjects. The proof is in the relative success of the former British colonies compared to the former colonies of other European powers. But, the caveat here is "If I were going to be colonized..." I would prefer not, thanks just the same.

But, this is a worthy counterpoint to the stuff that is dribbled out in most college classes (I took a few myself - "everything from the West is evil" , blah, blah, blah.) Read that stuff, read this book and you have a more realistic idea of what happened - everything was not evil, nor was it all wonderful. Like most things, Western colonization was a mixed bag. Colonization can be generally listed as a bad thing, but one can be certain that the British colonies, as a group, got a much better deal than the other colonies.

This book can be found on Amazon.com here: The Politically Incorrect Guide to the British Empire.

I rate this book 4 stars out of 5.

Reviewed on January 6, 2012

The Swamp Fox of the Revolution (Landmark Books) by Stewart Holbrook

A bit of nostalgia

Published 1959 by Random House
180 pages

Many, many years ago Random House published a series of more than 100 books called "Landmark Books". These were short histories of a little more than 150 pages that were long on action and short on historical analysis.

Nevertheless, these were this history teacher's first introduction to written history. The library in Hope, Indiana had a whole shelf of these books and I happily read about Daniel Boone and the Alamo and John Paul Jones. I happened across this one at a middle school library clearance.

The book delivers as I remember - lots of action and not much into the motivations of Francis Marion and the others who hid in the swamps of South Carolina with him and fought the British Army. That's okay, though. It's aimed at middle schoolers/upper elementary students and they don't care much for analysis anyway. Better to get them an appealing taste of history and let the whys and the wherefores fill themselves in later on.

I give this book 4 stars out of 5. It can be found on Amazon.com here: The Swamp Fox of the Revolution (Landmark Books) by Stewart Holbrook.

Reviewed on April 17, 2007.

My Best Friend, Abe Lincoln: A Tale of Two Boys from Indiana by Robert L. Bloch.

A fun introduction to American history for young children

Published June 2011 by Big Tent Books
Illustrations by John W. Ewing
32 pages


My Best Friend, Abe Lincoln is a children's book (ages 5-8) that creates a fictional account of the adventures of Abraham Lincoln and his best friend as a child in southern Indiana. The best friend, Sam Harding, is entirely made up (as the book makes clear) but the story is based on known details of Lincoln's childhood (for example, Lincoln called the school of his sparse formal education a "blab" school and this book does too) and includes details that would have been common to almost all children of the frontier.

The illustrations should be very approachable to all children since the illustrator, John Ewing, is a former Disney illustrator and he uses a familiar Disney-esque style with his characters. I thought his interpretation of young Lincoln's face was interesting - I had never considered how Lincoln's distinctive, weathered face would have looked as a young man.

The book touches on young Lincoln's love of books, story-telling and introduces the idea of slavery and why he was against it. Young Sam Harding moves to Ohio after his Indiana family farm failed and the young friends say goodbye. The last few pages talk about Sam hearing about Abe Lincoln in the Lincoln-Douglass debates and very briefly covers the Civil War.

Several pages that have no specific illustrations have an interesting background: the text of the Gettysburg Address. I recommend this for kids that have interest in history. Also, this would be a great addition to any classroom library or school library.

I rate this book 5 stars out of 5.

This book can be found on Amazon.com here: My Best Friend, Abe Lincoln.

Reviewed on January 4, 2012.

Taft 2012 by Jason Heller

A little book about a big man (Would you like a little sci-fi with your politics?)

Published by Quirk Books in January of 2012.
248 pages.

Okay, let's get the ridiculous part of  the book out of the way. Yes, Taft 2012 is based entirely on a silly premise: What if William Howard Taft disappeared from history the day Wilson was inaugurated and arrived in the year 2011 and fired up everyone's imagination to run for president again in 2012? But, setting that aside, what if Taft were alive and well today? What would he think of the United States 100 years after it rejected him for his re-election bid?

If you love The Twilight Zone or those Harry Turtledove time-traveling books and you are interested in politics, this one will satisfy.

William Howard Taft (1857-1930)

I liked the book because I liked Heller's characterization of William Howard Taft. It's not hard for this overweight reviewer to sympathize with our fattest president (he got stuck in the presidential bathtub, a fact that embarrasses Heller's interpretation of Taft to no end - he cannot believe that people still remember that about him) who eats when he's under stress. But, Heller makes him understandable, likeable and gets us to sympathize with him. Taft's wonder at modern gadgets is short-lived (although his attempts to use Twitter are funny) but his amazement at the changes in American society such as the clothing, relations between the sexes and the freer interaction among the races continue to throw him throughout the book. At times, Taft is a man adrift, at times he is a man who knows he has been given an extraordinary second chance.

As a groundswell builds for a "draft Taft" to run for president in 2012, Heller introduces the political world and political issues of 2012. His portrayal is a bit simplistic but this is a short book. Taft becomes a single-issue candidate and the issue is not very well explained (giant corporate food interests) except that Taft gets an upset stomach when he eats too much processed food. It's almost as though Heller assumes that everyone is already sold on the issue and they will just go along with him so he makes very little effort to explain except for one creepy scene in a restaurant.

But, this is still an enjoyable book and I am pleased that I started out the New Year by meeting and sharing and adventure with Mr. Taft.



I rate this book 4 stars out of 5.

This book can be found on Amazon.com here: Taft 2012: A Novel

Reviewed on January 3, 2012.

Comrades: Brothers, Fathers, Sons, Pals (abridged audiobook) by Stephen E. Ambrose

Very good

Published by Audioworks in 1999.
Read by the author, Stephen Ambrose.
Duration: approximately 3 hours on audio cassette.
Abridged.

Ambrose's stories of male friendship in Comrades: Brothers, Fathers, Sons, Pals would be good in any format, but why read what Ambrose wrote when you can hear him read it to you? There is the added benefit of hearing Ambrose's emphasis on a phrase, his light-hearted tone in some areas and, even more important to the emotional punch of some of the stories, hearing his voice break at particularly touching moments (perhaps the most touching was a comment that is highlighted in HBO's Band of Brothers. A veteran of Easy Company is asked by his grandson, "Grandpa, were you a hero in the war?" "No. I served in a company of heroes.")

Stephen Ambrose
(1936-2002)

Ambrose focused on the friendship he and his brothers share, his friends from college, from work, the friendships of Lewis and Clark, Dwight Eisenhower and his brother Milton, Lewis and Clark, the men of Easy Company in 'Band of Brothers', the friendship of men who fought against one another in war but meet again as old men and the friendship between Ambrose and his father. I was surprised that he did not mention the friendship that he shares with his sons since he did the friendship between he shared with his father. Perhaps it was edited out in the abridgement.

Ambrose comments on the beauty of friendship between old men - no rivalry, nothing but support and love. He notes that he can't wait until he is old and can enjoy such friendships. Sadly, Ambrose died of cancer in 2002 at the age of 66.

I rate this book 5 stars out of 5.

This audiobook can be found on Amazon.com here: Comrades: Brothers, Fathers, Sons, Pals by Stephen E. Ambrose.

Reviewed on April 5, 2007.

Rough Draft by James W. Hall

Strong, entertaining read

Published in 2000 by St. Martin's Press
352 pages 

Rough Draft is my first foray into a book by James W. Hall. I found it to be an entertaining read with a couple of really good plot twists. The original premise of the FBI sting seems so silly that I cannot imagine anybody would permit it, but once I got past that part it was a great spring break thriller.

While the villains were fairly interesting, I found myself really rooting for the underachieving FBI agent, Frank Sheffield.

I wonder about the source of Mr. Hall's fascination with Indiana. I'm a lifelong resident of the Hoosier state so I was interested in the fact that the main bad guy comes from Evansville (his bare description of Evansville, even though it is vague, tells me that he's never seen it or has not seen it in a loooong time). Also, his knowledge of Indiana geography seems a bit sketchy since he has the boy in the foster care system in Evansville yet committing crimes in Indianapolis. They are a good 2 1/2 to 3 hour drive apart. Plus, Hall mentions some overweight teachers from Fort Wayne in a bar trying to get lucky with some Cuban lotharios. Yes, my beloved Hoosier state, home to serial killers and desperate big girls...

Despite that, I give this book a final rating of 4 stars out of 5.

This book can be found on Amazon.com here: Rough Draft by James W. Hall.

Reviewed on March 30, 2007.