THAT BEAR ATE MY PANTS! ADVENTURES of a REAL IDIOT ABROAD. by Tony James Slater

Originally published in 2012.

Tony James Slater is a restless Englishman who loves to go out and see the world. The problem with all of this going out and seeing the world is that it costs a lot of money and he doesn't really have a lot of money.

Slater wanted to see South America so he applied to work at a wild animal rescue in Ecuador in exchange for food and a bed in a bunkhouse.

Slater has almost no experience working with animals and absolutely zero experience working with wild animals - but the rescue center is powered by an enthusiastic but largely unskilled labor pool, so he fits right in.

That Bear At My Pants is written in a series of small chapters (more than 60) that are also broken down into smaller sections. Its design makes it perfect as a bathroom reader. 

His experiences reminded me of a much more wild and dangerous version of my experiences working at a summer camp almost 40 years ago. That camp also was powered by an enthusiastic but unskilled but largely unskilled labor pool.

The only real downer to the book was the author himself. While he writes very clearly, the book is an autobiography and I did not find him to be a very likable person. He often attempts to make jokes that fall flat because he is not so much funny as he is obnoxious. 

The best example of his worst behavior invloves one of his fellow volunteers - a rich girl who bounces in and out of the rescue center two different times during his stay. She is obnoxious, difficult, spoiled and a know-it-all in the worst sort of way.

But, what James dislikes most about her is that she is ugly. He mentions it over and over - nearly as often as he mentions her bad behavior. He states that he would understand her behavior if she were a pretty young lady, but since she is ugly, her spoiled behavior is indefensible. (p. 131)

He is that blunt about it - calling her "a troll" that "must have fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down, and then had the tree jump up and down on her screaming, 'Die bitch, die!'" (p. 132)

He goes on about her looks so many times. Look - I don't mind if he hates this obnoxious young woman, but going after her for her looks is petty and small and, for me, unforgivable. 

I won't even discuss his long term open affair with a married woman with children.

Like I said, the book could have been a lot of fun - but he's that guy that everyone knows who says a lot of stuff because he thinks he is funny, but he's just a big jerk. People read books to get away from guys like this.

I rate this book 2 stars out of 5. It can be found on Amazon.com here: That Bear Ate My Pants! Adventures of a Real Idiot Abroad.

INCA EMPIRE: A HISTORY from BEGINNING to END (kindle) by Hourly History

Published in October 2024 by Hourly History.

Hourly History has published a large catalog of short histories and biographies. The idea is that each book can be read in about an hour. That's not enough to make the reader an expert, but it is enough to make the reader more knowledgeable than most people and it lets the reader know if this is a topic they want to delve into more deeply.

I thought I was pretty well-informed on the topic of the Incas when I started Inca Empire: A History from Beginning to End. I am a Spanish and a history teacher, so I know way more than most people. However, that's not saying much. Let's face it, the average American hasn't heard of the Incas and the ones that have are likely to confuse them with the Aztecs or the Maya.

A short history is not much of a problem when it comes to the Incas. Their Empire existed for only about 95 years before the Spanish Conquistadores arrived in 1532. The Spanish arrived with small numbers (less than 200 soldiers) but superior technology, including horses, a cannon, firearms, and armor. 

A strength of the Incan Empire also led to its downfall. The Inca understood the value of a dependable highway system to move goods, information, and troops. Unfortunately, European diseases spread to the heart of the empire before the Spanish even arrived. The emperor and his designated heir probably died from diseases brought from Europe, kicking off a brutal civil war that meant the empire was ill-equipped to meet a foreign threat, even a tiny one.

Until I read this short history, I was completely unaware that a rump Incan state survived the original conquest and continued on for another 35 years on the Eastern slopes of the Andes and into the Amazon basin.

Map by QQuantum

My review:

This e-book was in serious need of MAPS. It kept of referring to pre-Colombian locations and civilizations I had never heard of and that meant that I had no real idea of the geography of the relative locations. They might as well have been telling me that Group A took over Group B, Group B rebelled and then Group A destroyed Group B city and Group B stopped fighting. 

A MAP would have helped. 5 or 6 MAPS would have been very enlightening. I have included a helpful map that I lifted from Wikipedia. Just seeing the growth of the empire on this map gives the reader a better idea of the extent of the Incan Empire and how quickly it grew. Kindle can easily handle pictures, so not including a map is inexcusable.

The lack of any sort of map is why I rate this e-book 3 stars out of 5. It can be found on Amazon.com here: Inca Empire: A History from Beginning to End.

SIMON BOLIVAR: THE GREAT LIBERATOR (World Landmark Series) by Arnold Whitridge

Published in 1954 by Random House.

In the 1950's and 1960's Random House created an extraordinary history series for children called Landmark Books. There were 122 books in the American history series and 63 in the World Landmark series. A very solid description of the series can be found here: link. When I was a kid my little hometown library had what seemed like an endless shelf of these books. I loved these books - I even remember where it was in the library nearly 40 years later! Undoubtedly, these books are part of the reason I am a history teacher.

Simon Bolivar (1783-1830)

This book is part of a subset of the Landmark Books series. If the book took place outside of the United States the book belonged to the World Landmark Books series.

Simon Bolivar was born in the Spanish colony that is now Venezuela. He was educated in Spain but was keenly aware that the government of Spain considered the colonies to be inferior to Spain and incapable of self-government. He doubtless shared that belief until he began to spend time with the children of the Spanish ruling class (including the future King of Spain) and discovered that they weren't all that impressive. Once Napoleon conquered Spain and put his brother on the throne, Bolivar pushed for a revolt. Some, like Bolivar, were pushing for independence no matter who was on the throne, but others who joined him simply wanted to revolt as a part of a general resistance to Napoleonic rule.

Regardless of the initial motivations, Bolivar soon led a multi-colony revolt that went on for 11 years. Eventually, Bolivar helped to liberate the colonies that make up the modern countries of Venezuela, Colombia, Ecuador, Bolivia and Peru.

Many have compared Bolivar to George Washington, including Arnold Whitridge, the author of this book. There are surface similarities, but Bolivar's fight was much longer and (I would say) much more of a geographical challenge. Bolivar crossed the Andes range multiple times with armies that suffered horrific losses simply from the geography. In fact, while doing a bit of research on Bolivar while writing this review, I found that the Wikipedia page for Bolivar does a much better job of stating the sheer monumental scope of his accomplishments than this book did. For example, he fought in 79 major battles, traveled 10 times the distance of Hannibal, 3 times the distance of Napoleon and twice the distance of Alexander the Great. If you can be can be compared favorably to that crowd, you are truly a military genius. In this respect, Washington certainly comes up short.

Sadly, Bolivar was not a political genius and he could never figure out a way to unite the former Spanish colonies into one large country that he wanted to call Gran Colombia. This is where Washington's strengths come into play. Not only was he able to win the military fight, he was able to help establish the concept that the colonies were going to become one country and the military would not lead that country.

This book is aimed at students from 3rd to 8th grade. It is a simple read with line drawings. It could use a few more maps. To be fair, it was merely an "okay" introduction to Simon Bolivar and his accomplishments (see above about the Wikipedia page).

I rate this book 3 stars out of 5. It can be found on Amazon.com here: SIMON BOLIVAR: THE GREAT LIBERATOR (World Landmark Series) by Arnold Whitridge.