THAT BEAR ATE MY PANTS! ADVENTURES of a REAL IDIOT ABROAD. by Tony James Slater

Originally published in 2012.

Tony James Slater is a restless Englishman who loves to go out and see the world. The problem with all of this going out and seeing the world is that it costs a lot of money and he doesn't really have a lot of money.

Slater wanted to see South America so he applied to work at a wild animal rescue in Ecuador in exchange for food and a bed in a bunkhouse.

Slater has almost no experience working with animals and absolutely zero experience working with wild animals - but the rescue center is powered by an enthusiastic but largely unskilled labor pool, so he fits right in.

That Bear At My Pants is written in a series of small chapters (more than 60) that are also broken down into smaller sections. Its design makes it perfect as a bathroom reader. 

His experiences reminded me of a much more wild and dangerous version of my experiences working at a summer camp almost 40 years ago. That camp also was powered by an enthusiastic but unskilled but largely unskilled labor pool.

The only real downer to the book was the author himself. While he writes very clearly, the book is an autobiography and I did not find him to be a very likable person. He often attempts to make jokes that fall flat because he is not so much funny as he is obnoxious. 

The best example of his worst behavior invloves one of his fellow volunteers - a rich girl who bounces in and out of the rescue center two different times during his stay. She is obnoxious, difficult, spoiled and a know-it-all in the worst sort of way.

But, what James dislikes most about her is that she is ugly. He mentions it over and over - nearly as often as he mentions her bad behavior. He states that he would understand her behavior if she were a pretty young lady, but since she is ugly, her spoiled behavior is indefensible. (p. 131)

He is that blunt about it - calling her "a troll" that "must have fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down, and then had the tree jump up and down on her screaming, 'Die bitch, die!'" (p. 132)

He goes on about her looks so many times. Look - I don't mind if he hates this obnoxious young woman, but going after her for her looks is petty and small and, for me, unforgivable. 

I won't even discuss his long term open affair with a married woman with children.

Like I said, the book could have been a lot of fun - but he's that guy that everyone knows who says a lot of stuff because he thinks he is funny, but he's just a big jerk. People read books to get away from guys like this.

I rate this book 2 stars out of 5. It can be found on Amazon.com here: That Bear Ate My Pants! Adventures of a Real Idiot Abroad.

THE TOY CAR: A SHORT STORY (kindle) by Rose Tremain

Published in 2025 by Amazon Original Stories.

The Toy Car is a coming-of-age story of Petros, an attractive 17 year old boy who lives on a sunny Greek tourist island. His life is mapped out for him - his father owns a popular taxi service and eventually he will inherit the business. 

It's a good life by most standards. 

But, his English mother is worried that Petros hasn't seen enough of the world so she convinces his father to send him off to live with her sister and her husband in London for a year abroad.

Petros brings along a toy version of his father's taxi, which is where we get the name of the story.

Up to this point, the story is pretty good.

When Petros arrives in London, his aunt and uncle seem very surprised about everything about him. They have not prepared for his arrival. Everything about the very existence of Petros confounds them.

I have no idea why they are acting this way, but it makes for a very poor experience for Petros. He spirals out of control with homesickness and bad experiences with girls and, eventually, he runs home.

What are the lessons learned in this coming-of-age story? 

Don't try new things?

London's weather is bad compared to the weather of a Greek island?

Better to be a taxi driver than to meet a girl in England?

Who knows what the point was supposed to be - all I know is that this book failed to deliver one except for the four I mentioned above.

I rate this story 2 stars out of 5. It can be found on Amazon.com here: The Toy Car: A Short Story by Rose Tremain.

BATMAN - ONE BAD DAY: THE RIDDLER (graphic novel) by Tom King

Written by Tom King.

Art by Mitch Gerads.

Published in 2023 by DC Comics

2023 Eisner Winner - Best Single Issue/One-Shot

2023 Eisner Nominee - Best Limited Series

2023 Eisner Nominee - Best Writer, Tom King

2024 Libby Award Nominee for Best Comic/Graphic Novel

Synopsis

The One Bad Day series looks at individual top level Batman villains (If you are a fan of Condiment King, sorry) and gives them a comic that focuses on just that villain. 

Batman - One Bad Day: The Riddler begins with The Riddler in jail. He is ruminating over his abusive childhood and the reader gets to see his first steps into the world of crime. All of that ruminating has made The Riddler change his game plan when it comes to being a criminal...

My Review

The flashback scenes were extremely good, but the current day scenes were full of literally unbelievable things.

*****Spoilers*****

There are multiple things that just made me roll my eyes. Things that just don't make sense, even in a comic book world.

1) The scene where the The Riddler says he will hurt the armed guards' families if they take him to Arkham rings untrue. He promises that he can escape in hours. He looks at one guard and lists the name of the guard's children and the school that they attend. In this scene, the guards all shoot one another because one guard decides to take out a cuffed Riddler rather than have his family put at risk. I think it much more likely that they would just shoot him with the rubber bullets they had and then beat him to death with their rifle butts - all the more so in a city where insane villains keep escaping from Arkham Asylum. The Riddler says he  has escaped from Arkham more than 36 times! Why are they sending him back there? Why would the guards even hesitate to kill the man who threatens all they hold dear?

2) The Riddler maims a man who is sliding a food tray through the slot in the cell door. He grabs the tray and forces the man's hands into the top of the slot. So far, so good. That would hurt a lot and reminds the guards that Riddle is quite feral. Then, he pushes the tray so hard it cuts off eight of the man's fingers (not his thumbs). If Bane was doing the pushing on the tray, maybe. Is The Riddler as strong as Bane? Hardly.

3) A character points a shotgun at Batman's face from less than 10 feet away and shoots twice. He misses both times. Not a single piece of shot touches Batman because he is too fast. Ugh. I know Batman is fast and I know Batman's cowl is bulletproof, but the lower half of his face isn't. Shotguns are not rifles - the shot spreads out and covers a lot of area. Batman should have ended up looking like Two-Face.

*****End Spoilers*****

I think this graphic novel received rave reviews because of the extensive flashback scenes and the art. The art is not my favorite style, but it did set a profound mood of tragedy and danger. The flashbacks are excellent, especially the ones with his teacher. 

But, those scenes don't make up for the things that I mentioned in the spoilers. I know that it seems weird to expect some realism in a book with a man who wears a bat outfit to fight crime, but I think it's exceptionally lazy writing to have a characters in a comic book get away with unrealistic things just to make the plot move forward.

I have read almost all of the graphic novels in this series. If I had read this one first, I probably wouldn't have bothered with the rest.

I rate this graphic novel 2 stars out of 5. It can be found on Amazon.com here: Batman - One Bad Day: The Riddler.

BALD-FACED LIAR (kindle) by Victoria Helen Stone

Published in 2025 by Lake Union Publishing.

Synopsis

Elizabeth May has lived a life based on lies ever since she went off to college. As a small child she was caught up in one of those Satanic child abuse day care cases that swept the nation in the 1980s. If you are not aware of this, the cases were almost always built upon an accusation by an angry child followed by leading questions from a series of adults that convinced younger children that they should go along with the accusations. After a while, the smaller children just believed the made up version.

Elizabeth May has ran away from her past - no one in her hometown showed any understanding of how she was also a victim, including her own family. May hides by being a travel nurse - she can move every year or even every few months. She avoids long-term romantic entanglements, she uses every possible variation of her name - Liz, Betty, Beth, etc. 

Elizabeth May has lived in Santa Cruz for about a year. She's got a great job, a cozy condo with a special deal because she keeps on eye the nextdoor vacation rental condos, and she has a network of acquaintances that stand in for actual friends.

Suddenly, her carefully constructed life gets interrupted with a series of online and in real life incidents and Elizabeth May is scrambling to figure out who is a real friend and who is an imposter from the past looking for revenge...

My review: 

The problem with this book is not the tension created from the situation, it's the character of Elizabeth May. She is basically unlikeable. She listens in to her neighbors' arguments and gets joy a thrill out of it. She uses the security cameras to spy on their romantic moments. 

In a book like this, this reader has to root for the target. Elizabeth May is hard to root for, except that you just don't like anybody that's not clearly evil to have their identity stolen and be stalked. 

This book was just off from the beginning and ended up staying off the entire time. I rate this book 2 stars out of 5. It can be found on Amazon.com here: Bald-Faced Liar by Victoria Helen Stone.

LIQUID COOL: THE CYBERPUNK DETECTIVE SERIES (Liquid Cool Book 1) by Austin Dragon

Originally published in 2016.

Audiobook published by Well-Tailored books in 2024.

Read by Shamaan Casey

Duration: 11 hours, 54 minutes.

Unabridged.

Synopsis: 

Set in a future megalopolis called Metropolis, Liquid Cool is the story of Cruz, a young hustler that wants to become a private detective.

Cruz is mostly known for restoring vintage flying cars, his fedora hat, and his super attractive girlfriend that thinks he can be more than just a street hustler.

Cruz really wants to be a private detective, but obtaining a license from the city's convoluted bureaucracy is shockingly expensive. When a local boy turned millionaire offers Cruz the chance to do some detective work on the side, Cruz jumps at the opportunity. He picks up a how-to book from a famous private detective and starts to teach himself how to do the job.

After a few of these detective side gigs, an unknown benefactor offers Cruz an office and a secretary just like the ones that all of the film noir detectives have and he opens "Liquid Cool" - a detective service that cannot legally call itself a detective service because Cruz cannot afford the license.

And that's when the trouble really starts...

My Review:

This book was simply not very good. It has the basis of a good story, but it needs to be thoroughly edited. I listened to this as an audiobook and literally hours could be cut out of it. 

I know that Dragon is world building in Book 1 of what has become an eleven book series, but he introduces what feels like hundreds of characters in what seems to be an effort to have Cruz visit every corner of Metropolis just to show the reader this vision of the future. It is clear that this book was written to have sequels follow - save some of the world building for those books.

But, I had so many questions that were never answered.

For example, why is it literally always raining in Metropolis. ALWAYS. Even cities famous for their rain like London and Seattle have sunny days, but Metropolis never does. Was it due to environmental catastrophe, a nuclear war, a weather control system that was broken? Who knows.

Also, why is it such a big deal that some people own their apartments due to inheritance? This is mentioned multiple times as if it were vitally important and I never figured out why? It was part of some historically earlier troubles that led to the government structure that Metropolis has, but it is just left at that. No description of the troubles, no explanation of the apartment ownership thing. A good editor would make a note of this and it could be edited out or actually explained.

I Mentioned that I listened to this as an audiobook. It's pretty hard to make notes of egregiously bad writing when you are driving around, but I did catch these two gems that are within two minutes of one another:

"The events not only happened in close proximity, but they happened on top of each other."

"I was burning through money like a billion sheet roll of toilet paper in the center of the sun."

The audiobook was read by Shamaan Casey, an audiobook reader with quite a few projects under his belt. He did a good job with the voices and the narration.

The author did a good thing by finding a good narrator. Now, he needs to find a good editor to help this book shine.

I rate this audiobook 2 stars out of 5. It gets 2 stars and not 1 star because I did care about how the mystery resolved itself.

This book can be found on Amazon.com here: LIQUID COOL: THE CYBERPUNK DETECTIVE SERIES (Liquid Cool Book 1) by Austin Dragon.

Note: I was sent an digital copy of this audiobook in exchange for an honest review.

THE RUNAWAY (Peter Ash #7)(audiobook) by Nick Petrie

Published by Penguin Audio in 2022.
Read by Stephen Mendel.
Duration: 11 hours, 35 minutes.
Unabridged.

The Runaway is the seventh book in the Peter Ash series. Ash is a retired Marine with PTSD issues and an intense desire to help people in need. Sometimes he settles down, sometimes he wanders.

In this book, Ash is crossing the country and is near the border of South Dakota and Nebraska. He comes across a broken down car and a very pregnant young lady. She is desperate to get going down the road so he takes her. 

They get a few miles down the road when they come across a truck blocking the road. They turn around and find another truck blocking the road and leaving them nowhere to go. The hitchhiker tells Ash that he is in very grave danger and he should flee...

My review:

For a book full of action, thrills, and mayhem, this book was often tedious. 

********Spoilers********

The pregnant young lady is a victim of gaslighting and, eventually, kidnapping. The process was long and very detailed. I think that there was simply too much emphasis on this part of the book. 

I don't know if it was intentional, but it is worth noting that literally every male character was a criminal, a murderer, a misogynist, or simply incompetent except for Peter and his friend Lewis. I doubt it was intentional, but it just seemed like the entire Great Plains countryside was full of literal bad guys.

*********End Spoilers*********

Sadly, this series has gotten weaker for me. I rated the first five books 4 or 5 stars, but I have rated the last two books as 2 stars. I will move on to the next book and hope for the best. 

One last thought. Despite what you will read in this book, healthy, well-fed coyotes do not hunt humans. 

I rate this book 2 stars out of 5. It can be found on Amazon.com here: The Runaway by Nick Petrie.

MAYA CIVILIZATION: A HISTORY from BEGINNING to END (MESOAMERICAN HISTORY) (kindle) by Henry Freeman (Hourly History)

 

Published in 2020 by Hourly History.

Hourly History specializes in e-book biographies and histories that take most readers about an hour to read. In some cases, an hour to cover a topic seems about right. For example, I really enjoyed their book on the Cuban Missile Crisis. 

Of course there is a massive difference in the time involved with the Cuban Missile Crisis and the Mayan Civilization - one lasted for weeks, the other for centuries. That makes a big difference with what can be dealt with the series' self-imposed one hour time constraint and that difference really hurt this e-book.

I have zero problems with the facts presented in this book, but I do have a problem with the way they were presented. I found this book to be oddly written. My pet theory as I was reading it was that it was an early experiment with an AI author program - but there is an actual name attached to my kindle e-book - Henry Freeman. Oddly, the Amazon website does not list Freeman as the author. 

I rate this e-book 2 stars out of 5. It can be found on Amazon.com here: Maya Civilization: A History from Begnning to End (Mesoamerican History.

I AM NOT YOUR YOUR PERFECT MEXICAN DAUGHTER (audiobook) by Erika L. Sánchez

Finalist for the National Book Award for Young People's Literature.
Named to Time Magazine's 100 Best YA Books of All Time.

Published by Listening Library in 2017.

Read by Kyla Garcia.
Duration: 9 hours, 41 minutes.
Unabridged.

Synopsis:

Julia is the daughter of Mexican immigrants to the United States. They live in pretty run down neighborhood in Chicago. She is in high school. Her family doesn't really understand her (basic YA fare) and she really loves writing. She is looking forward to moving on to college - like so many kids she wants nothing more than to get far, far away from where she grew up.

There is one presence that looms over everything - her dead sister Olga. Olga was older than Julia and has recently died in a bizarre accident - she stepped off of a city bus and was hit by a semi-truck. Her family is traumatized, of course. To make matters worse, Julia is constantly being compared to Olga - the perfect daughter who only gets more perfect in memory.

Julia digs around in her sister's bedroom (untouched since the day she died) and finds a few things that just seem out of character for Olga. Suddenly, there's a mystery and Julia just has to follow the clues...

My review:

At first, I found myself really liking this book. I was intrigued about the mystery element.

But, suddenly we are going from one YA (and Latino) stereotype to another. It got so ridiculous that I starting listing them. If only the author had just settled for 2 or 3 of them (instead of 15 or so.)

*****

This book is a frequent flyer on lists of books that MAGA parents turn in to be banned from local public libraries and school libraries. Here is a ban attempt from South Carolina and here is one from Texas, for example. It's not a book I would want to teach in my classroom (there are things that I would not particularly want to discuss in class) and I didn't particularly enjoy it, but I would be more than happy to have it in a classroom library.

I rate this book 2 stars out of 5. It can be found on Amazon.com here: I AM NOT YOUR YOUR PERFECT MEXICAN DAUGHTER (audiobook) by Erika L. Sánchez

BEARSKIN: A NOVEL (audiobook) by James A. McLaughlin

Published in 2018 by HarperAudio.
Read by MacLeod Andrews.
Duration: 9 hours, 49 minutes.
Unabridged.

Synopsis:

Bearskin features Rice Moore as the caretaker of a piece of Appalachian Virginia wilderness for a foundation. His job includes is walking the property, cataloging what he finds, remodeling the house on the property, and keeping poachers out. 

He's also hiding. A few years back he was caught smuggling drugs across the border from Mexico and ended up serving time in a Mexican prison. In the prison, Moore killed a man who was highly connected to a Mexican cartel and now he has taken on an assumed identity in the middle of nowhere in Virginia. 

When someone starts killing bears on the foundation property just to harvest organs to sell in Asia, Rice knows that he has to do something, even if it risks blowing his cover...

My Review:

This book sounds interesting and exciting. I found it underwhelming in so many ways. 

The book started out with tons of description. That's not unusual, especially early on. The book continued that way every time Moore entered a new scene - even if he has been in that setting a dozen times already. It just bogged things down to describe the same things over and over again in hyper-detail.

There were so many threads of a plot that started and were never acted upon. I understand that there are red herrings in stories, but these felt more like the author was exploring some ideas and then just walked away from them.  I don't want to provide spoilers, but at least half of the book is dedicated to plot lines that have no resolution.

The ending was just that - an ending. Three was no resolution to the main plot points. The book just ended with so many unresolved threads. A lot like real life, but not very satisfying in a novel. It's like the author just got tired of the whole thing and said, "Screw it!" and sent the manuscript off to the publisher. 

I rate this book 2 stars out of 5. It can be found on Amazon.com here: Bearskin: A Novel by James McLaughlin.

THE BREAKER (Peter Ash #6)(audiobook) by Nick Petrie

Published by Penguin Audio in 2021.
Read by Stephen Mendel.
Duration: 12 hours, 10 minutes.
Unabridged.

Synopsis

Fugitive good guy Peter Ash is hiding out in the open in the city where his adventures began in book number one of the series - Milwaukee. In The Breaker Peter Ash has an assumed identity with very good fake papers. His girlfriend June has joined him, resuming her career as a reporter with the local Milwaukee big city paper. Of course, his friend Lewis is around as well.

In the previous books Peter Ash is dealing with untreated PTSD from his time as a soldier in Iraq and Afghanistan. Too many searches in too many small confined areas has left him with severe claustrophobia.

Peter is working on the claustrophobia, though. Peter, Lewis, and June are at the Milwaukee Public Market for lunch. It is indoors, but it is very open concept with a lot of open space above. He's been eating there to get used to being inside. 

The Milwaukee Public Market

Lewis and Peter notice a figure carrying a hidden weapon entering the crowded Market. That's bad enough - but there's also a bus full of elementary school children unloading for a lunch field trip. 

Lewis and Peter leap into action and things get very complicated very quickly...

My Review

This book was the weakest in the series so far. There was plenty of action - almost non-stop action.

*****Spoilers******

June became a much less nuanced character in The Breaker. Most of her lines consist of her yelling, "Marine!" at Peter and then ranting about how much she loved him and how he needed to take care of himself and how he needed to neutralize the threats facing them without creating any fuss that would bring unwanted attention to him. That was cute at first but it got old.

It also makes zero sense for June, a woman who owns a tech research company and owns an entire mountain valley to put Peter Ash (and herself) at legal risk by letting him wander around Milwaukee all day. Hide that man away until you can figure out how to get Peter out of his predicament.

There is a police stop early on in the book for a burned out tail light that seemed needlessly petty. It was designed to introduce a grizzled old cop character who might see through Peter Ash's elaborate paperwork disguise. But, instead of giving the impression of an experienced cop who has hunches that pay off, I got the impression of a petty man who likes to push people around and make them search for electrical shorts in their tail lights by making them crawl around their vehicles in the rain and get soaking wet and dirty first thing in the morning. 

The book almost approaches sci-fi, with giant hydraulic-powered machines adapted to a wheelchair-bound man, scientifically talented orphans seeking revenge, hundreds of armed robots powered by revolutionary long-lasting batteries, and self-driving vehicles that can travel anywhere on any road.

Throw in a secret government agency and its seemingly all-knowing mysterious representative and it was just too much.

*****end spoilers*****

If this had been the first book in this series, it would have been my last. Hopefully, the next one is much, much better.

I rate this audiobook 2 stars out of 5. It can be found on Amazon.com here: THE BREAKER (Peter Ash #6) by Nick Petrie.

INCREDIBLE HULK: PLANET HULK written by Greg Pak, illustrated by Carlo Pagulayan, Aaron Lopresti, Juan Santacruz, Gary Frank, and Takeshi Miyazawa.

Originally published by Marvel Comics from 199-2007.

Synopsis:

Hulk is banished from Earth after helping The Avengers, The Fantastic Four, and others defeat a common enemy by using Hulk's brute strength. Hulk has been rendered unconscious and placed on a spaceship. Reed Richards (Mr. Fantastic) leaves a video message for Hulk to find on the spaceship when he arrives at his destination - a planet with no intelligent life. Reed knows that it is a wish of both Dr. Banner and Hulk to be someplace where Hulk cannot hurt anyone and no one can hurt Hulk. 

But, a wormhole opens up and sucks Hulk's spaceship to a different destination - the planet Sakaar.

Sakaar is ruled by a despotic, deranged emperor. He rules a planet with multiple species - all of them hate each other because he pits them against them against one another. He has discs attached to their bodies to control their impulses and allow him to deliver pain at will. He wears a suit of armor that Iron Man would envy and he runs a giant gladiator contest to punish anyone who dares stands up to his regime.

That is, until Hulk arrives...

My Review:

Planet Hulk has a reputation of being THE ultimate Hulk story arc. This story is also part of the inspiration for the Marvel movie Thor: Ragnarok. 

*********Spoiler alert*********

While this graphic novel has a great reputation, I found it to be very repetitive. Hulk meets a danger, he nearly dies but he wins by just brute forcing everything. Every new confrontation makes him stronger until it just gets to the point of ridiculousness. Every time Hulk turns around there is a new species with new traditions, new prophecies, and new attacks on the Hulk that make him stronger. Eventually, he gets so strong that he can literally tear apart the planet from the inside - it just became tedious for me. The whole plot is something attacks, Hulk mad, Hulk smash, Hulk get stronger, Hulk finds peace of mind, something new attacks, Hulk mad again, and on and on and on.

*********End Spoilers*********

The art is very beautiful, though.

I rate this graphic novel 2 stars out of 5. I had to force myself to finish it, even if it is a classic. 

This graphic novel can be found on Amazon.com here: INCREDIBLE HULK: PLANET HULK written by Greg Pak, illustrated by Carlo Pagulayan, Aaron Lopresti, Juan Santacruz, Gary Frank, and Takeshi Miyazawa.

THE HOUSE on MANGO STREET (audiobook) by Sandra Cisneros

Originally Published in 1983.
Read by the author, Sandra Cisneros.
Duration: 2 hours, 18 minutes.
Unabridged

The House on Mango Street is the story of a Hispanic girl named Esperanza who grows up in a little house in a poor neighborhood in Chicago. Her story is told in a series of unrelated vignettes (44 in all) that tell some sort of story about her family life or the neighborhood itself. In some, the main character clearly has no idea of the more adult themes that occur around her, while in others she is very astute and understands the larger implications. 

At first, Esperanza's family intends that the house is going to be a temporary stop on their climb towards economic success in America. But, they never quite are able to move out of this troubled neighborhood and the reader is able to see how the neighborhood affects the lives of everyone around Esperanza as she grows up.

To be fair, the neighborhood is not all bad, but it is a tough place for children to grow up and keep their innocence. Some kids run away, some get married early and try to build some stability (one gets married extremely early.) Esperanza is determined to work her way out of the neighborhood and then come back and help others get out.

I read this book for two reasons:
1) It has a tremendous reputation. 
2) It has been placed on multiple book ban lists and I like to read those books to form my own opinion (unlike a lot of people who ban them.)

My review:

The author, Sandra Cisneros

I found that this book's biggest issue was that it was just boring. It's a 2 hours audiobook and I found myself wanting to listen to anything else at times. I simply could not get into this story. 

I certainly wouldn't ban this book. It has a lot of adult themes, but I think too many sheltered adults don't realize that a lot of kids live very unsheltered lives. This book will come off as very real to a lot of those kids, assuming that they can get past the back that it is a very, very tedious read. This 30+ year teacher would put it in a classroom library or in a school library and support any student wanting to read it. 

Here are two stories about districts that have banned this book - one based in Texas and one based in Florida.

I rate this book 2 stars out of 5. It can be found on Amazon.com here: THE HOUSE on MANGO STREET by Sandra Cisneros.

THE FREE FALL of WEBSTER CUMMINGS (audiobook) by Tom Bodett

 

Originally published in 1995 by Brilliance Audio.
Read by the author, Tom Bodett.
Duration: 15 hours, 43 minutes.
Unabridged.

The author and narrator.

I think Tom Bodett's End of the Road series of short stories is just one of the best audiobook experiences out there. Technically, this book is part of that series even though almost none of it takes places in that oddball community of End of the Road, Alaska (it earned its name by being, well, the place where the road ends.)

Bodett is well-known as a frequent panelist on the NPR show Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me! but he is most well-known for his voiceovers for Motel 6 in which he promised in his folksy way, "We'll leave the light on for you."

I say all of this just to say that this book was a major disappointment. 

Everything about this book seems like it should work. It has a grounding in his Alaska stories. It consists of a series of short stories - his area of expertise.

But, there is just way too much going on in this book. There are way too many plotlines going on and Bodett tries to weave them together so they all tie up in a couple of nice little knots at the end and he just doesn't get it done.

There are two plotlines from Alaska, two plotlines from Seattle (one is mysteriously dropped about 1/3 into the book), a cross country plotline from New York City and Los Angeles, a family from Ohio that heads west in stages to find themselves (one finds that Indiana may be far enough west), supernatural forces, PTSD, memory loss, mysticism and a man named Webster Cummings who fell more than a mile from a commercial jet plane over New England and survived. Webster near death experience inspired him to find his biological parents. 

Just too much and I just ended up wanting it to end.

I rate this audiobook 2 stars out of 5. It can be found on Amazon.com here: THE FREE FALL of WEBSTER CUMMINGS (audiobook) by Tom Bodett.
.

WHEN WE'RE HOME in AFRICA (audiobook) by Themba Umbalisi

Published in 2021 by Next Chapter Audio LTD.
Read by Crawford B. Bunkley III.
Duration: 4 hours, 34 minutes.
Unabridged.

I have no idea where I found this book. I think it was a freebie on Audible through Amazon's Prime Reading program. I know that I got it because I am a big reader of Civil War histories and fiction and this sounded like it was right up my alley.

Synopsis:

The description of this book is accurate, to a point. It is about a freed slave who joins the Union Army and then goes from job to job and place to place with a goal of settling in Africa.

My Review:

This book is basically a Forrest Gump type of story - one man goes on an epic journey and ends up going through a lot of the historical movements of the era.

Warning: Lots of *********SPOILERS********all the way to the end of this review.

This audiobook comes in at almost exactly 50% of the run time for FORREST GUMP and covers maybe even more territory. Our hero (his name changes multiple times) begins as a slave in Georgia who is freed by the Union Army. He goes on to:

1. Join the Union Army as an infantry soldier.

2. Participate in the Battle of the Crater.
3. Muster out of the Army.
4. Meet a woman and live with her for a while.
5. Join the Cavalry.

U.S. Army "Buffalo Soldiers"

6. Serve on Indian patrol as a Buffalo Soldier. Fight a number of battles.
7. Serve on the U.S./Mexican border as a Buffalo soldier. Fight a number of battles.

8. Go on trial as a horse thief simply for doing his job.
9. Almost get lynched.
10. Flee into the wilderness to escape the lynching mob.
11. Meet another woman and live with her for a while.

12. Eventually arrive in San Francisco.

13. Get shanghaied onto a ship.

14. Go around the tip of South America to the Atlantic Ocean.

15. Get involved in a mutiny somewhere near the Falkland Islands.

16. Escape the ship with a friend on a little boat with a sail just before the mutineers turn on each other.

17. Sail/Row the boat around the tip of Africa and land on the Indian Ocean side of South Africa.

18. Meet native Africans.
19. Join the British Army in South Africa as a scout. Fight a number of battles.

20. Leave the British Army and join the Zulus.
21. Get married.
22. Become the royal firearms specialist for the Zulu.
23. Watch the Zulu loose to the British and flee to the mountains.
24. Find a group of refugees.

25. Become king of these refugees and make a people out of them.
26. Start a family.

Those are 26 big steps in a 4 hour and 34 minute audiobook. This could have been epic if it were slowed down and each of these steps were explored. I actually skipped things (lots of women end up sleeping with this man) and there were actually steps that were explored in detail, which means that the others got even more of the short shrift treatment.

For example, the women always end up being a side story and the hike from Texas to San Francisco is an epic trip going through multiple Indian territories and crossing the Rocky Mountains and it gets just a few minutes.

This book is really more of a serious treatment of a book series rather than a single book. It is too busy and not filled in with enough detail to make a story. It could have been a decent series.

About the narration. Crawford B. Bunkley III has a great voice, but he read this book too fast. Commas are ignored. Periods are ignored. Just this wonderful voice pushing forward as fast it can while reading a story that just wants to push on as fast as it can.

The only reason that I am giving it 2 stars is because I actually finished it.

This book can be found on Amazon.com here: WHEN WE'RE HOME in AFRICA by Themba Umbalisi.

OZARK DOGS (audiobook) by Eli Cranor

 

Published by Recorded Books in April of 2023.
Read by the author, Eli Cranor.
Duration: 7 hours, 29 minutes.
Unabridged.

I first heard  this book at an indie book store in a very hip part of the city. If you are an avid reader it is not hard to find more books than you should (or can) buy at one time - so I made a list.

This book was on the list and I really wish that it was half as good as I hoped it would be.

Synopsis:

Jeremiah Fitzjurls owns a junkyard at the edge of a dying Arkansas town. His son is in prison and he is raising his granddaughter. He is a grumpy old curmudgeon and she is an all around great kid. She works at an animal shelter. She is a cheerleader. She is smart. 

She is also sneaking away from the high school dance with the starting quarterback after homecoming...

Things don't end so well and she decides to walk back to the school rather than spend another minute with her boyfriend. That's when she is abducted by strangers...

My review:

This brooding book was a collection of regional tropes about the South,

1. Dying small town? Check.
2. The KKK? Check.
3. Meth? Check.

4. A sheriff from a family of sheriffs? Check.

5. A veteran with PTSD? Check.

6. Two families feuding? Check.

7. Family secrets that everyone in town seems to know about? Check.

Throw in an impossible number of over the top plot twists (including two at the end that were really simply TOO much) and you have a formulaic novel that seemed like it was looking for ways to keep the reader interested by including more and more plot twists. I was reminded of an improv group that I follow that said that they would kill scenes if they go too slow and were advised to add a "birth, death, or a major religious experience" to scenes to make them interesting.  That's great advice for an off-the-cuff improv scene but there's not really an excuse for that when it is a planned out book. 

The one real positive of the audiobook experience was that it was read by the author. He is very good at creating voices and putting emotion into his readings.

I rate this audiobook 2 stars out of 5. It can be found on Amazon.com here: OZARK DOGS by Eli Cranor.

SHADOWS REEL (Joe Picket #22) (audiobook) by C.J. Box

 

Published in 2022 by Recorded Books.

Read by David Chandler.
Duration: 9 hours, 4 minutes.
Unabridged.

Synopsis:

Game Warden Joe Pickett investigates a report of a dead elk. Fearing that it is the victim of a botched attempt at poaching, he investigates. Instead, he finds a burned corpse and falls headlong into another murder investigation.

Meanwhile, Joe's wife Marybeth, the director of the local library discovers an odd package left at the library with connections to a prominent Nazi from World War II.

And...Nate Romanowski is in Denver hunting down an old enemy during the midst of an Antifa/BLM riot.

My review:

This is a book series about a game warden. Oftentimes, he is joined by a former special forces guy who is so into nature that he used to stand naked in a stream of water for hours at a time to get the feel of a river and its entire ecosystem - from the slime at the bottom to the fish to the birds that swoop down to the beavers that dam it up.

Antifa protest in Denver

There was almost no "game wardening" in this book and the man who is derisively called "nature boy" in this book spends 99% of this book navigating the urban world of Black Lives Matter and Antifa.

I have complained in my review of the 20th book in this series, Long Range, that Joe Pickett was getting involved in so many other types of police cases that it is easy to forget that the first books in the series - the books that made me start and keep reading a series - were mostly about game warden activities. Lots of searching for poachers. There was a book about eco-terrorists, one with survivalist weirdos and even a big forest fire.

This book seemed to be careening from one political commentary after another - BLM, Antifa, even Hungary. What does the author say? Antifa - irredeemably stupid. BLM - understandable, but over the top. Hungary, despite the popularity of its President in ultra-conservative circles, is linked in this book with violent reaction over careful consideration.

Is this what the author intended? I have no idea. He seems to be making a lot of political comments in his books lately in the Joe Pickett and the Cassie Dewell series. Some are subtle, some are not. I assume that is what he's pulling his characters out of the Wyoming countryside and placing them in cities all over the West, but maybe not. Maybe I am reading too much into it. Either way, I want Joe Pickett to get his butt back into the woods!

I rate this audiobook 2 stars out of 5. It can be found on Amazon.com here: SHADOWS REEL (Joe Picket #22) by C.J. Box.

THE HUNDRED YEARS WAR: A HISTORY from BEGINNING to END (kindle) by Hourly History

 

E-book published in 2019 by Hourly History.

Hourly History is a series of histories and biographies that a reader can read in about an hour. Sometimes, that works out quite well. Sometimes, the topic is just too big to cover in an hour.

I think the Hundred Years War is one of those topics. 

Before I read this book I knew a few facts about the war: It was over dynastic struggles over the throne of France, the Battle of Agincourt, Joan of Arc.

Nothing in this book is incorrect, but I didn't really learn a lot more than I knew before. There is a parade of kings, royal family members and advisors - but there's rarely any detail that makes it interesting. For example, the book mentions an insane French king, but it does not mention that he believed that he was made out of glass and believed that he had to be careful that he would get bumped over and would smash to pieces. 

If you know literally nothing of the war, this is an adequate place to start.

I rate this audiobook 2 stars out of 5. It can be found on Amazon.com here:  THE HUNDRED YEARS WAR: A HISTORY from BEGINNING to END (kindle) by Hourly History.

DEEP SLEEP (Devin Gray Book 1) (audiobook) by Steven Konkoly

 

Published in February of 2022 by Brilliance Audio.
Read by Seth Podowitz.
Duration: 10 hours, 18 minutes.
Unabridged.

Synopsis:

Devin Gray is a retired military operator working for a high-end private security contractor. He is on assignment that goes a little sideways in the D.C. metro area and he is sent away to let things cool off.

While packing up to go, he is contacted about his mother. She is estranged from the rest of the family because she is always off researching a conspiracy theory, which is kind of ironic because she works in a government intelligence agency that looks for conspiracies. She is dead after some short of shoot out in Tennessee and everyone is keeping it quiet.

Gray discovers a note from his mother to him with instructions. It turns out to lead to her evidence that proves the conspiracy and he finds it to be plausible enough to reach out to others. Once they start digging, they find more than it is worse than they ever imagined...

My review: 

I was excited about this book. I really enjoyed the first two book of an his unfinished Rogue State series (link to review of the first book here: Fractured State.) That series is full of non-stop and, frankly, ridiculous action - but it is fun and demands your attention.

This book had a complicated conspiracy that you know in your head is simply too complicated to work, but your gut says, "Oh crap! This could really happen!" I had no problem with the premise of the book.

I had problems with the pacing of the book and the proliferation of characters. Konkoly decided to make characters out of some of the bad guys in an effort to confuse the reader at first. It worked and it was kind of a good choice except that he keeps on adding character after character after character and this audiobook reader got confused as to who exactly was who. I just decided to ignore character names and label them "good guy" and "bad guy" in my head. That totally defeated the purpose of creating a named character with lines and a personality, but I couldn't keep up. When one of them goes down in a gun fight, I didn't care a whole lot - I just kept a little running tally in my head to see if any of the good guys were going to survive.

For an action story, this book has an awful lot of sitting around and talking. Sitting around and talking in a restaurant, in a car, in a secret hideout, in another car, in an SUV, in a rented house, in another SUV, in a hotel, in a mansion, in a helicopter, in another hotel.

So many of these conversations were repeats of other conversations. The conspiracy is discovered and then explained to another person. That person explains it to a small group. That group explains and discusses with another group and by that point I felt like I could have stepped in and gave the explanation myself.

So, to sum up - too many characters makes the story hard to follow. Too much repeat conversations stretched the story out for no real reason.

On a pet peeve note: Konkoly is from Indianapolis and lives in Indianapolis. So do I. I was pleased to see part of the book took place in an Indianapolis suburb that he described perfectly (Carmel.) However, the audiobook reader mispronounced it. It is pronounced the way many people mispronounce the candy "caramel." He pronounced it like the California city "Carmel by the Sea." This was not important to the story and people who do not live in Indiana would have no idea but considering that the author lives here...

I rate this audiobook 2 stars out of 5. I will not be moving on to book two in this series. This book can be found on Amazon.com here:  DEEP SLEEP (Devin Gray Book 1) (audiobook) by Steven Konkoly.

ALL the WAY to the TIGERS: A MEMOIR by Mary Morris

 

Published by Recorded Books in 2020.
Read by Susan Bennett.
Duration: 6 hours, 32 minutes.
Unabridged.

Sometimes I fall asleep listening to the news on my local NPR station. One morning I woke up to PBS's Rick Steves (the guy who does all of the European travel shows) interviewing Mary Morris about this book. Turns out he has a travel-themed NPR radio show and they discussed her travels around the world. They discussed where she went in India and why she went (to see a tiger in the wild) and I immediately looked it up on my audiobook up and requested it.

But, I was unpleasantly surprised to find out that this book was not the book I heard described in the interview. I heard a great discussion about a travelogue book to India. I am always interested in hearing about India because it is an ancient society, it is a democracy and it is an up-and-coming economic power.

Also, I am a sucker for travelogue books.

I have read a book by a man who hiked across America following an oil pipeline, a man who hiked the Appalachian Trail with his semi-drunk friend, two guys who hiked from Mexico to Colombia, a guy who biked from the UK to India, a guy who rode a motorcycle around Afghanistan, a guy who hiked across Afghanistan when the Taliban collapsed in the early 2000's, and two ladies that rode bikes from Turkey all the way to India and China. I am sure there are more.

This book has some travelogue features to it, but about 1/3 of the book is flashbacks to her childhood and her parents. They are both weird. One could easily argue that they were abusive.  About 1/3 is flashbacks to the time she broke her ankle while ice skating and all of the reconstructive surgery she had to endure. The remaining 1/3 (maybe less) talks about her trip to India to look for tigers in the wild.

The travelogue portion was the best part. The flashbacks parts, at their best, were tolerable. I almost quit listening at multiple points. But, in the end, I just had to know if she saw a tiger or not (they are elusive, solitary creatures).

I rate this audiobook 2 stars out of 5. It can be found on Amazon.com here: All the Way to the Tigers: A Memoir by Mary Morris.

V for VENDETTA (graphic novel) by Alan Moore and David Lloyd

 

Originally published in 1982.

Originally published in completed form in 1988 by DC Vertigo.

This iconic graphic novel has been on my to-be-read list for a long while. I tried watching the movie, but it had been a long week and I soon fell asleep. I assumed that the movie missed some of the pizazz of the graphic novel. I decided to go ahead and read the book when I noticed it was on the list of some 850 books that a Republican Texas state legislator wanted to ban from all Texas schools. 

V for VENDETTA is the story of a masked vigilante who decides to stand up against the fascist government of an alternative history version of the United Kingdom. The masked character has become the single most recognizable feature of the book and the face of the "anonymous" movement that swept over social media a few years ago.

Many people assume that it was put on the censorship list because it features a character that fights back against a repressive government. They assume that Texas is afraid of people that fight back, but they forget that this is a state that loves its own history of fighting back. The story of the Alamo and the Texas Revolution is revered in Texas. Texas was also a member of the Confederacy in the Civil War and some people in the Texas Republican Party have openly discussed another attempt at secession.

Based on the other books on this list, I think that the book was added to the list because there are 4 or 5 little panels in the comic that show a naked woman. They are not particularly lurid drawings, but most of the books are on this list for some sort of sexual reason. What appears in this book is certainly not worth the fuss of banning the book, but if you are making a list of 850 books you don't care about not making a fuss.

On to my review:

I was very much looking forward to this book. I like dystopian novels and I am very sympathetic to the themes of this book. However, I must admit that my reaction to the movie pretty much matched my reaction to the graphic novel. It is stylish but very slow and boring. I had a hard time finishing it and probably wouldn't have if not for occasional bursts of interesting plot showing up from time to time. 

I rate this graphic novel 2 stars out of 5. It can be found on Amazon.com here: V for VENDETTA by Alan Moore and David Lloyd.