UNHOLY NIGHT by Seth Grahame-Smith





Brilliant!

Published in 2012 by Hachette Book Group

Seth Grahame-Smith is, perhaps, most famous for his books Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Pride, Prejudice and Zombies, two books that I have never read and probably never will because I care not one wit for vampire or zombie tales. But, this book intrigued me and I am very glad that I read it.

As in the other books I mentioned, Seth Grahame-Smith has a talent to take an existing story and put a twist to it. Unholy Night takes the traditional Christmas nativity story and makes this little change: What if the Three Wise Men were actually not three learned scholars but three criminals posing as three learned scholars?

That's it - that's the heart of the book. But, what a twist!

Here is all anyone really knows about the the Three Wise Men from the Biblical account, from Matthew 2, verses 1-12:


In the time of King Herod, after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea, wise men from the East came to Jerusalem, asking, "Where is the child who has been born king of the Jews? For we observed his star at its rising, and have come to pay him homage." 

A 6th century mosaic of the Three Wise Men
 in Ravenna, Italy
.
When King Herod heard this, he was frightened and all Jerusalem with him; and calling together all the chief priests and scribes of the people, he inquired of them where the Messiah was to be born. They told him, "In Bethlehem of Judea; for so it has been written by the prophet: 'And you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; for from you shall come a ruler who is to shepherd my people Israel.'

Then Herod secretly called for the wise men and learned from them the exact time when the star had appeared. Then he sent them to Bethlehem, saying, "Go and search diligently for the child; and when you have found him, bring me word so that I may also go and pay him homage." 


When they had heard the king, they set out; and there, ahead of them, went the star that they had seen at its rising, until it stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw that the star had stopped, they were overwhelmed with joy. On entering the house, they saw the child with Mary his mother; and they knelt down and paid him homage. Then, opening their treasure chests, they offered him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. And having been warned in a dream not to return to Herod, they left for their own country by another path.

They are mentioned in one other verse in which King Herod is angered because the Wise Men do not report back to him and he proceeds with his plan to slaughter all of the male infants in Bethlehem. That's it. The traditional names (Balthazar, Gaspar and Melchyor) are not named. Their actual number of Wise Men is not named. 

This book covers all of these aspects without skipping a beat - so long as you look at things from a certain point of view.

In Unholy Night, Balthazar is a master thief and pickpocket who has no problem killing Herod's soldiers to stay out of jail. But, he is caught and brought to King Herod in Jerusalem for judgment. While awaiting execution he is held with Gaspar and Melchyor, two violent men awaiting execution for a variety of major crimes. Balthazar engineers a chance for a final meeting with three religious scholars in order to set himself right with God, overwhelms them, switches identities with them and escapes into the night towards Bethlehem with some goods that they managed to steal along the way: gold, frankincense and myrrh. 


Of course, they meet up with Mary, Joseph and the baby Jesus (the three criminals are looking in the stable for fresh mounts) and it does not go well. However, once Herod's men arrive to start slaughtering the infants these three criminals are moved to rescue this clueless family and the real adventure starts.

This book could have gone wrong on so many levels but, somehow, Grahame-Smith manages to change the story but yet maintain the commitment to the religious aspects of the story. I
t does treat faith and religion seriously. The Christmas Star is there. The virgin birth is there.  There are miracles and struggles with the concepts of faith and forgiveness. And, it does not all get wrapped up in a neat little bow in the end and everyone does not live happily ever after. And, I enjoyed it immensely.

Be warned, this book is often violent and gruesome, like the story that it comes from. Let's face it, if you are telling the story of a diseased old tyrant who orders the murder of babies, it's bound to be gruesome. 


I rate this book 5 stars out of 5.

This book can be found on Amazon.com here: Unholy Night by Seth Grahame Smith.

THREE CENTS a MILE (audibook) by Mark Mooney









Published in October of 2016 by Mark Mooney
Read by the author, Mark Mooney
Duration: 5 hours, 57 minutes
Unabridged

CNN Money editor Mark Mooney's Three Cents a Mile tells the story of his 2 year trek across the world as a vagabond traveler more than 35 years ago. He left New York City and headed east, visiting Ireland, England, France, North Africa, Greece, Turkey, Iran, Pakistan, India, Thailand and even more destinations with nothing more than a few dollars in his pocket and a typewriter and a notebook to compose travelogue articles that he sold to newspapers back in America.

Along the way he met playwrights, authors, poets, star-crossed lovers, thieves, hippies, drug burnouts, farmers, beggars, mystics, and he turned down the chance to meet Mother Theresa. He slept on beaches, in flophouses, on buses, above a bookstore with other aspiring writers, in an apartment building filled with strippers/prostitutes and in a barn. He traveled by plane, by ferry, by bicycle, by bus and, of course, by foot and barely made it out of Iran before Ayatollah Khomeini's revolution took completely took hold of the country. His story of the buses having to carry the right picture (the Shah or his opponent the Ayatollah) in order to be granted safe passage was both scary and funny.

Interspersed with the travel adventures are remembrances of a troubles childhood, especially his relationship with his father, a difficult man. This tense relationship is most likely the reason why Mooney took off on his world-spanning trek in the first place.

I listened to this story as an audiobook. It is read by the author, Mark Mooney, who does not have the typical voice of an audiobook reader. At first I was turned off by his reading style and the fact that I could hear papers rustling from time to time. It was clear to me that he did not put as much into the audio production as the books that I generally listen to. But, his personal style grew on me and there are times when the reader can hear that he is genuinely moved by having to actually speak the words of difficult passages and that adds to the story in a way that a professional reader could not.

I rate this audiobook 4 stars out of 5.

Note: I was sent a copy of this audiobook for free in exchange for an honest review.

This audiobook can be found on Amazon.com here: Three Cents a Mile.

THE GENERALS: PATTON, MACARTHUR, MARSHALL and the WINNING of WORLD WAR II (audiobook) by Winston Groom




Published in November of 2015 by Blackstone Audio, Inc.
Read by Robertson Dean
Duration: 16 hours, 2 minutes
Unabridged

Winston Groom, forever associated with his iconic character Forrest Gump, has written an interesting and solid history of three equally iconic World War II generals: George Patton, Douglas MacArthur and George Marshall. 

Groom's triple biography format works quite well as all three of these men's life stories were on parallel tracks once they entered World War I and they all knew one another and had worked with one another in one capacity or another through the years (the story of Patton and MacArthur meeting up and working together on the front lines of World War I is a great one).

The histories of these men during peacetime only served to reinforce my impression that both of these men were eccentric, sometimes to the point of being bizarre - especially Patton. But, in wartime these men all shined, despite some controversies. I never had much of a positive opinion about MacArthur. He always seemed to me to more of a strutting peacock than he was a competent general - more good PR than real talent. But, this book has changed my opinion of the man's talents as a general. Still a strutting peacock, though...

This was an enjoyable and informative read. Winston Groom weaves the three biographies together in an interesting way, generally using their parallel lives to reinforce each other's stories. The reader, Robertson Dean, gave distinctive voices to each of the three generals and his reading enhanced an already strong text. 

I rate this audiobook 5 stars out of 5.

This audiobook can be found on Amazon.com here: The Generals: Patton, MacArthur, Marshall and the Winning of World War II

THE WORLD ACCORDING to STAR WARS (audiobook) by Cass R. Sunstein














Published in May of 2016 by HarperAudio.
Read by Kaleo Griffith
Duration: 5 hours, 44 minutes
Unabridged

Besides being a Law Professor at Harvard and a former member of the Obama Administration, Cass R. Sunstein is a massive fan of all things Star Wars. 

The World According to Star Wars is a wide-ranging and mostly interesting discussion using Star Wars as a way to explain aspects of the American and world political scene, economics and family dynamics. 

He starts with a little history of how Star Wars came to be, including George Lucas's struggles in writing the screenplay, the way the actors all thought they were acting in an interesting movie that was certain to be a big flop and the reluctance by the studios to really push the movie.

But, despite the odds, Star Wars became a massive phenomenon - the series is the all-time leader in multiple categories and the hits just keep on coming. Sunstein explores why it became a big hit, looking at the timing of its release, what was going on in American culture and the like. This part was a little too long, in my opinion.

But, the rest of it was great. He discusses what the Galactic Empire symbolized, what the Rebellion symbolized and even how Richard Nixon, the USSR and mechanization are possible inspirations. He also talks about Star Wars vs. Star Trek, Fathers and sons and how Star Wars incorporates Christian themes like redemption and how the Jedi incorporate Buddhist themes.

The reader, Kaleo Griffith, keeps the book moving at an enjoyable pace. If you are a super-hardcore fanboy you probably heard a lot of this already, but if you're merely a fan you will find this book to be an interesting take on Star Wars.

I rate this audiobook 4 stars out of 5.


This audiobook can be found on Amazon.com here: The World According to Star Wars.

THOSE GRAND OCCASIONS at the END of the ROAD (audiobook) by Tom Bodett


Published by Random House Audio in 2009

Read by the author, Tom Bodett
Duration: 2 hours, 15 minutes.
Abridged

This book focuses on town celebrations, thus the references to "Grand Occasions" in the title. The quirky town of End of the Road, Alaska puts its own twist on everything. If you follow this series, that is no surprise. If you have not followed this series, do not start with this one. It is excellent but it depends on the listener actually knowing who the characters are beforehand.

Adolescent Norman Tuttle struggles with being treated like a kid when at Thanksgiving and in other family activities. Meanwhile, the town gets a town Christmas tree thanks to finally getting a public park and, of course, this somehow becomes controversial. New Year's celebrations become more than a bit weird due to the weather. 


Perhaps the funniest story is about how the town tries to open a safe that was used as a time capsule. Why? In their excitement to put important documents in it decades ago someone put the only copy of the plans to the city water system in it and now no one can get the capsule open. In their defense, they were asked to put important documents in the time capsule and the water plans are certainly important and no one needed them for years.

Tom Bodett's voice and the piano accompaniment are perfect for these stories. I cannot recommend this series enough.

I rate this audiobook 5 stars out of 5.


This audiobook can be found on Amazon.com here: Those Grand Occasions at the End of the Road

THE END of the ROAD (audiobook) by Tom Bodett


Originally published in 1989.

Audio edition published in 1999 by Bantam Doubleday Dell Audio
Read by the author, Tom Bodett
Duration: 2 hours, 30 minutes
Abridged

This is the first of Tom Bodett's excellent "End of the Road" series and it is a joy to meet the quirky people who live in this small town in Alaska.

It starts with the annual town parade and festival in the local quarry (it's easier to clean up a quarry, at least that's the theory), complete with fish tossing and a pistol shooting contest and ends up with a great story of two friends who travel from Alaska to Florida to pick up a brand new fire truck and then drive it back to Seattle to ship to Alaska by ship. It is the road trip of a lifetime.

Great quotes from the book:

"Men share some of their most intimate moments leaning against vehicles with their arms crossed, looking at anything but each other." 


"I don't think there's a man in America who didn't spend at least a year of his young life sure that he'd grow up to be a fireman"

This audiobook can be found on Amazon.com here: The End of the Road.

I rate this audiobook 5 stars out of 5.



DIES IRAE: DAY of WRATH: A Novella by William Forstchen













Published in 2014 by Spectrum Literary Agency

William R. Fortschen notes in his introduction to Dies Irae: Day of Wrath that he felt compelled to write the story after a long discussion with a couple of friends about ISIS and the porous nature of America's southern border. What he came up with is this novella that is jam-packed full of action and very short on things like character development and a real resolution. But, it was written as a warning more than anything else.

The main characters are Bob Peterson and his wife Kathy who live in Maine. Bob is a middle school teacher. ISIS-backed terrorists have invaded America to launch a series of attacks on schools in smaller towns across the country, including Bob's.

Bob breaks school rules and state laws by carrying a pistol on his person in the school, and on this day that is a good thing...

Fortschen's descriptions of the ensuing death and mayhem are over the top but effective. To be honest, this book reminded me of Stephen King's orgies of blood and chaos in books like The Stand and Cell and I think that Fortschen would welcome the comparison.

Is this book a great book? No. It is over-the-top and alarmist.

That said, it is a compelling read, even though this public school teacher is very much against arming teachers in a school setting.

I rate this book 4 stars out of 5.

This book can be found on Amazon.com here: Dies Arae: Day of Wrath.

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