Black Alley: A Mike Hammer Novel (audiobook) by Mickey Spillane

Mike Hammer almost kicks the bucket

Published in 1996 by Penguin Audio.

...and he drives around a lot with a seeping gut wound, visits old friends, gets put in a coma, gets a marriage license and looks for $89 billion. Sounds like a lot of action, doesn't it? In reality, there's not too much going on here.

The series is not aging well. I find myself running the math figures on this 1997 book and most of Hammer's friends and contacts are in their 70s, 80s and 90s. One former Prohibition cop that he uses as an informant would be at least 93 years old - that is if he served as a division chief in the fight against booze brought in to get around the Prohibition laws at the tender age of 18! I conservatively estimated his age to be at least 103 - how many 103-year-olds are sources of current mafia information?

Also, has Spillane ever actually seen a backhoe? It is a heavy duty piece of construction equipment. Even the small ones are extremely heavy and must be towed with special trailers. He has Hammer towing one behind his car on a mountain on a regular trailer with no brakes - that must be a heckuva car!

Anyway, problems like this drug the book down for me.

I listened to Black Alley as an abridged audiobook read by, of course, Stacy Keach (who else?!), who played Mike Hammer on the TV series. Keach did a decent job despite being hampered by a poor story.

I rate this abridged audiobook 2 stars out of 5. It can be found on Amazon.com here: Black Alley: A Mike Hammer Novel by Mickey Spillane.

Reviewed on February 27, 2006.

The Hornet's Nest: A Novel of the Revolutionary War by Jimmy Carter

Published in 2003 by Simon and Schuster

Regardless of your views on Jimmy Carter the politician, he is also Jimmy Carter the author. A good reviewer should separate his opinions, be they pro or con, about the politician from a politician's works of fiction. I will endeavor to do so here.

Carter's interest in his native state of Georgia has led him to write, The Hornet's Nest: A Novel of the Revolutionary War, a historical novel about the Revolutionary War in Georgia, the Carolinas and Florida. Admittedly, this is an area that is often ignored in favor of Boston, Valley Forge and Philadelphia so there is room for quality fiction in this area.

The problem with Carter's work is not a lack of attention to historical detail - it is too much attention to historical detail to the detriment of an actual story about fictional characters. Carter's storyline shifts from being a piece of historical fiction to being a rather dry local history throughout the work.

Carter's passion for historical detail often drowns out the narrative. The reader is treated to dry facts about the intricacies of the British command in Florida ad nauseum. We are repeatedly told some of the some details over and over again - sometimes multiple times on the same page!

Jimmy Carter

What makes it worse is Carter's insistence on using the labels 'Tories' and 'Whigs', rather than the more common 'Patriots' and 'Loyalists'. True enough that most Loyalists were of one party and most Patriots were of the other, but it is often inaccurate as well. It would be akin to a Civil War writer labeling the Confederates 'Democrats' and the Northerners 'Republicans.'

At least once, Carter makes a major historical mistake. He states that Britain's African slave trade policy was very different than the America's policy during the Revolutionary War. Officially, Britain did not adopt a different stance until 1807, the year before America's Constitution outlawed the importation of new slaves.

Carter is an experienced author of non-fiction works, with at least a dozen works to his credit. He can be an interesting public speaker, especially when discussing history. If I had been his publisher, I would have recommended to Carter that he team up with a veteran fiction writer (like fellow Georgia politician Newt Gingrich has done with his Civil War books). Carter could have directed the story while the other author could have smoothed out the rough spots and made it flow. As it is, however, I can only recommend this book to the most hardcore enthusiasts of the Revolutionary War and/or the history of Georgia.

To be honest, I would not have finished it if it were not for the fact that I borrowed it from a relative who spoke highly of it. Read the Revolutionary War novels by Shaara instead.

I rate this book 2 stars out of 5.

This book can be found on Amazon.com here: The Hornet's Nest: A Novel of the Revolutionary War

Reviewed on February 23, 2006.

Let Us Prey (abridged audiobook) by Bill Brannon

Awful. I give it an 'F'

Published by HarperAudio in 1994
Abridged Audiobook.
Duration: About 3 hours.

Abridged.

Let Us Prey gets some pretty decent reviews on Amazon.com so...maybe it is pretty decent IF you are a fan of gratuitous, super-detailed rape scenes, splattering mists of blood and brains, barely fleshed-out government plots and revenge-driven soldiers who insanely act without cause.

Admittedly, I listened to it as an abridged book on tape, however, Brannon's book is in serious need of more detail explaining the connections between the characters, including what some of these characters are doing in this plot in the first place. I was irritated at the lack of detail, but yet even more irritated at the insane amount of detail devoted to these items: 1) a visit of a 'John' to a hooker in Las Vegas; 2) an unnecessary rape and genital mutilation scene and similar descriptions of violence.

In an abridgment, you should abridge the unnecessary parts, not the essential plot details!

I rate this audiobook 1 star out of 5 and it can be found on Amazon.com here: Let Us Prey.

Reviewed on February 16, 2006.

The Profession: A Thriller by Steven Pressfield

A cautionary tale buried inside some first-rate action.

Published in 2012 by Crown.

The Profession is a near-future sci-fi action-adventure tale with a great deal of political analysis and some history tossed in as well.

Set in the year 2032, the world has become a different place, but not at all unrecognizable. The chaos in the Middle East still reigns supreme on the international scene because oil is still king ($8/gallon gasoline is threatening to collapse America's economy). Iran and Iraq are still fighting, terrorism still exist, the oil states in the Middle East are, at the same time, both strong and unstable. The United States is in the middle of an election that seems to be addressing none of the real issues that the country faces and none of the candidates inspire anyone to anything but changing the channel of the television when they appear.

Steven Pressfield

America is still acting as the world's de facto policeman, although this role is enhanced by a new creation - the private, mercenary armies that have their roots in the current Iraq and Afghanistan wars with groups like Blackwater - former special forces soldiers recruited to join private armies with the promise of much more money and many less restrictions. These private armies are no longer just support for official armies. No, they are real and complete armies with contracted air support, ships, tanks and lots of high-talent soldiers to operate everything. While they still cannot stand toe-to-toe with a large country's military, they are much more nimble and able to react with greater speed.

The technology of the world of 2032 is recognizable as well - the high explosives are a bit more explosive but in the world of war it is still machine guns, helicopters, missiles and drones.

Suddenly, in the midst of this chaos comes the head of Force Insertion, the largest mercenary company in the world, James Salter.  Salter is a former MacArthur-like Marine General who was removed from office for overstepping his bounds. In a bold political move that is reminiscent of Alcibiades and Julius and August Caesar, he offers a solution to all of the world's problems - give him the legal authority to be dictator of the United States (a legal possibility thanks to a series of bad laws passed after another 9/11 type of attack) and he will dispense with all of the arguing and just do what needs to be done.

The story is told from the point of view of Gilbert "Gent" Gentilhomme, a mercenary who knew Salter from their days in the Marines - the man who Salter treats like a son, and also the man who has a few misgivings about the whole thing.

This book can be read on multiple levels - as a cautionary tale, as a shoot-em-up, as a political thriller, or as a primer on how history can repeat itself.

I rate this book 4 stars out of 5.

This book can be found on Amazon.com here: The Profession: A Thriller by Steven Pressfield.

Reviewed on May 28, 2011.

My Indiana: 101 Places to See by Earl L. Conn

Published in 2006 by the Indiana Historical Society.

The Indiana Historical Society's My Indiana: 101 Places to See is a colorful, informative guide to touring the state of Indiana. Every one of the 101 sites gets two pages, including at least two color photos (some have as many as four), a multi-paragraph, well-written description of the place and a section called "If You Go" that includes direction, phone numbers, websites, hours of operation and fees.

The choices are all solid and are spaced throughout the state. But, I could easily come up with 101 more places to go and see so hopefully the author is considering another volume. (Update: The author has created a book called My Indiana: 101 More Places to See)

Two notes of correction:

1) the entry for West Baden Springs (pp. 200-1) is out of date (thankfully). What was just an abandoned hulk of a ruined hotel (impressive even with pealing paint and no prospects for large-scale repair when this book was written) has become a 5 star resort and casino. I saw the atrium pictured on page 201 during the Christmas season and it is now a breathtaking spectacle that caused my 3 & 8 year old daughters to suck in their breaths and quietly say, "Wow!" They were inspired play princess in the castle for 20 minutes while my wife and I looked around and spoke with a very nice concierge about the building.

2) #29 is the Lincoln Museum in Fort Wayne, Indiana. What was once the largest privately held museum of Lincoln memorabilia is now closed. The entire collection is now in the hands of the Indiana State Museum in White River Park in downtown Indianapolis (see #39 for White River Park). You may ask, "Why Lincoln? Isn't he from Illinois?" Well, sort of. He grew up in Indiana. He lived in Indiana from age 7 to age 21 (see location #90 for his boyhood home).

I rate this book 5 stars out of 5

This book can be found on Amazon.com here: My Indiana: 101 Places to See.

Reviewed on February 15, 2009.

What Your Parents Never Told You About Being A Mom Or Dad by Stan and Jan Berenstain

Boooring

Originally published in 1995.

I found this 3 1/2 hour audiobook and figured I'd come across a hidden gem. A book about kids by the Berenstains! Who would know more than those folks that have created books, videos, and a TV show with lots of wholesome values and fun?

What Your Parents Never Told You About Being A Mom Or Dad is full of wholesome values. It offers practical advice on raising kids and a bit of an introduction to the Berenstain's experiences in raising a family.

But...

It's a tedious listen. Extraordinarily tedious. After the general introduction (20 minutes or so) the book gets bogged down in attempts at pithy humor, quips and puns than just don't work. I forced myself to listen to an hour and a half of the meat of this book and finally couldn't go any longer.

While full of good advice, I have to give any book that I cannot finish a one star. This thing should have been edited down to about one hour and it would have had much more impact.

Narrated by C.J. Critt and Robert Sevra who did the best the could with what they had to work with. 

This audiobook can be found on Amazon.com here: What Your Parents Never Told You about Being a Mom or Dad. 

Reviewed on February 20, 2009.

Mind Slash Matter (audiobook) by Edward Wellen

Truly Unique Mystery

Duration: 3 hours, 1 minute

Mind Slash Matter is a unique entry into the world of mystery thrillers. The hero is a 2-time Oscar-winning screenwriter, Rush Lightbody, who is now a shell of his former self due to Alzheimer's. However, he is able to function due to a wonderful computer that he pre-programmed before the Alzheimer's set in that interacts with him by way of speakers, microphones, video cameras and pagers. Thus, Rush Lightbody is able to convince the outside world that he is still okay by way of a series prompts and firm instructions that come from the computer.

Rene Auberjonois

At times, it is reminiscent of Peter Sellers' movie Being There in that the people Lightbody interacts with over-interpret his incorrect responses as exceedingly wise responses. Often funny, often sad, this book causes the reader to enter the mind of an Alzheimer's victim and get a taste of that alternate reality. It never degrades Alzheimer's victims or goes for the cheap jokes.

The technology is a bit dated, due to the book having been written in 1995, the author was merely guessing as to the nature of computer technology in the future. Cell phones have basically replaced pagers and at one point Lightbody re-programs the computer in just a few minutes - an impossibility, as is Artificial Intelligence thus far. However, suspend the techno-geek part of your personality and this is a magnificent audiobook experience.

Rene Auberjonois (From TV's Benson and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) does an absolutely wonderful job of reading this novel. He does several characters perfectly, including an aging blonde-bombshell B-Movie actress - his characterization of her was so good that I had to pick up the box and see if there was an actress playing her part. Wonderful job! Seriously, one of the best jobs of reading an audiobook  that I've heard.

I rate this audiobook 5 stars out of 5.

This audiobook can be found on Amazon.com here: Mind Slash Matter

Reviewed on February 13, 2006.