What Your Parents Never Told You About Being A Mom Or Dad by Stan and Jan Berenstain

Boooring

Originally published in 1995.

I found this 3 1/2 hour audiobook and figured I'd come across a hidden gem. A book about kids by the Berenstains! Who would know more than those folks that have created books, videos, and a TV show with lots of wholesome values and fun?

What Your Parents Never Told You About Being A Mom Or Dad is full of wholesome values. It offers practical advice on raising kids and a bit of an introduction to the Berenstain's experiences in raising a family.

But...

It's a tedious listen. Extraordinarily tedious. After the general introduction (20 minutes or so) the book gets bogged down in attempts at pithy humor, quips and puns than just don't work. I forced myself to listen to an hour and a half of the meat of this book and finally couldn't go any longer.

While full of good advice, I have to give any book that I cannot finish a one star. This thing should have been edited down to about one hour and it would have had much more impact.

Narrated by C.J. Critt and Robert Sevra who did the best the could with what they had to work with. 

This audiobook can be found on Amazon.com here: What Your Parents Never Told You about Being a Mom or Dad. 

Reviewed on February 20, 2009.

Mind Slash Matter (audiobook) by Edward Wellen

Truly Unique Mystery

Duration: 3 hours, 1 minute

Mind Slash Matter is a unique entry into the world of mystery thrillers. The hero is a 2-time Oscar-winning screenwriter, Rush Lightbody, who is now a shell of his former self due to Alzheimer's. However, he is able to function due to a wonderful computer that he pre-programmed before the Alzheimer's set in that interacts with him by way of speakers, microphones, video cameras and pagers. Thus, Rush Lightbody is able to convince the outside world that he is still okay by way of a series prompts and firm instructions that come from the computer.

Rene Auberjonois

At times, it is reminiscent of Peter Sellers' movie Being There in that the people Lightbody interacts with over-interpret his incorrect responses as exceedingly wise responses. Often funny, often sad, this book causes the reader to enter the mind of an Alzheimer's victim and get a taste of that alternate reality. It never degrades Alzheimer's victims or goes for the cheap jokes.

The technology is a bit dated, due to the book having been written in 1995, the author was merely guessing as to the nature of computer technology in the future. Cell phones have basically replaced pagers and at one point Lightbody re-programs the computer in just a few minutes - an impossibility, as is Artificial Intelligence thus far. However, suspend the techno-geek part of your personality and this is a magnificent audiobook experience.

Rene Auberjonois (From TV's Benson and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) does an absolutely wonderful job of reading this novel. He does several characters perfectly, including an aging blonde-bombshell B-Movie actress - his characterization of her was so good that I had to pick up the box and see if there was an actress playing her part. Wonderful job! Seriously, one of the best jobs of reading an audiobook  that I've heard.

I rate this audiobook 5 stars out of 5.

This audiobook can be found on Amazon.com here: Mind Slash Matter

Reviewed on February 13, 2006.

Cell by Stephen King

I had not read a Stephen King book since Insomnia.

Originally published in 2006.

I just walked away because I was so disappointed in that book. Before that, I read every Stephen King book as soon as it came out, but Insomnia was so disappointing that I just swore off his books for several years.

So, it's been 12 or 13 years since I've even picked up a Stephen King book. I thought it was time to try again. I was tempted by the book description on the dust jacket of Cell.

So, what was the verdict?

Enjoyable read. At times, I could not put it down.

Stephen King

No one writes gore better than King. He adds detail that makes you feel like you were there. King's easy reading style sucks the reader right in and the reader wants to know what is going to happen next. Uncharacteristically, King fails to do much in the area of character development, outside of the main character of Clay. Too bad.

One cannot help but to compare Cell to The Stand. It would be unfair to say that Cell is a mini-Stand. The over-arching themes of good vs. evil are not present. The character development is, by comparison, non-existent. Cell is not as good, but not as much of a time investment, either.

The plotline is rather straightforward - a "pulse" goes through every active cell phone in the world at the same time that pretty much fries the brain of the user and turns them in all into super-enraged zombie-like creatures that attack everyone that was not affected by the pulse. They are not zombies as in they are undead, but rather they function at that level. King tells us the story of some of the survivors.

So - to sum it all up. Cell is good, not as good as King at his best, but definitely worth a look.

I give it 4 stars out of 5. It can be found on Amazon.com here: Cell by Stephen King. 

Reviewed on February 8, 2006.

NOTE: This book was placed on a banned book list for the 2023-2024 school year. Here is a ink to the extensive list of books banned in Florida for that school year. UGH.

White Cargo by Stuart Woods

Engrossing - pulled me right in

Published in 1988.

There are two Stuart Woods out there, at least in my mind. There's the early Stuart Woods that wrote great books like Chiefs and there's the Stone Barrister-writing Stuart Woods that just writes a formula plot, mail it in and collects a check.

In White Cargo, a wealthy American, Wendell Catledge, is yachting off of the coast of Colombia when he is attacked by pirates and his wife and daughter are kidnapped and end up in the underworld of the narco-traffickers. Catledge goes underground to find his family in Colombia.

White Cargo is definitely an early Stuart Woods book! I found myself pulled into this plot and I just had to know what happened next, despite the fact that the violence and sexual exploitation was a bit too extreme for my tastes. The ending was fairly hokey but the overall strength of the rest of the book more than makes up for that.

I rate this book 5 stars out of 5 and it can be found on Amazon.com here: White Cargo by Stuart Woods.

Reviewed on January 14, 2006.

Life's Little Annoyances: True Tales of People Who Just Can't Take It Anymore by Ian Urbina

(Too) Quick and Fun!

Published in 2005 by Times Books.

Like others who have reviewed Life's Little Annoyances: True Tales of People Who Just Can't Take It Anymore, I first learned about it by way of a piece about it on CNN and I am glad that I asked for it for Christmas.

Full of short vignettes (1-3 pages) about the inanities of modern life and some people's amusing ways of dealing with it, this is the perfect bathroom book, if you know what I mean.

My favorites include:

*the man who dealt with the 'adult' bookstore in his community by giving every customer he saw as he drove by a friendly honk on the horn in an attempt to make the customers wonder if someone they actually knew really saw them patronizing a porn shop.

Ian Urbina

*the man who mailed all kinds of things to the credit card companies in those nifty return envelopes that they include with their offers, including their shredded offers, other junk mail and even strips of metal!

*the guy who has a website that demonstrates the proper way to park a car. He puts business cards with the web address on the windshields of bad parkers.

My only complaint is that the book is just too short. It's great fun, but it's too short.

I rate this book 4 stars out of 5.

This book can be found here: Life's Little Annoyances: True Tales of People Who Just Can't Take It Anymore.

Reviewed on January 14, 2006.

Hornet Flight by Ken Follet

Published in 2002 by Dutton Adult

Sure it's formulaic but it works!

Ken Follett

Ken Follett's Hornet Flight is a rousing World War II adventure full of all of the characters you'd expect in a film noire spy thriller about the Nazis. We have the plucky Englishwoman, spunky high school kids, brave soldiers and a scarred-up German officer who wears the jackboots and everything.

You know how it's going to end even before you start thanks to too much information on the description page, but it's still a rollicking fun ride. It hit me just right during these blasé winter days.

I rate this book 5 stars out of 5.

This book can be found on Amazon.com here: Hornet Flight.

Reviewed on February 21, 2009.

Beyond Belief to Convictions (audiobook) by Josh McDowell and Bob Hostetler

Disappointed in the abridged audiobook

Published in 2002 by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.

Abridged.

I've seen Josh McDowell speak many times and I know that he can be a strong speaker and I do wish that he had read this book. This book has strong attributes, but when combined with the reader (Greg Wheatley) it can be tedious.

The audiobook seems poorly put together at times but I suppose that is due to a poor abridgement.

The reader is very poor, which is surprising since the cover notes that he has a wealth of radio experience. He fails to do basic things like pause. For example, most readers would read like this:

Chapter One
(pause)
It was a dark and stormy night...

This book is more like this (in a monotone):

ChapterOneItwasadarkandstormynight.

Other negatives:

McDowell includes a fictional story of friends at college that are struggling with their faith. Those stories are stilted and read like they were written for ...well, like they were written for a Sunday school book. The people don't talk like kids (I teach high school and those kids spoke more like 60 year olds than teenagers) and the reactions of some are so emotionally secure that it seemed fakey.

Following the climax of the fictional story came a sermon that was not all that hot either. Perhaps it was the reader, but it didn't do much for me.

What was good:

McDowell tells a lot of his personal story in here. If he'd have ditched the fictional people and told more about himself it would have been so much more powerful because his story is compelling and touching.

The ending is very strong with a good dose of Christian apologetics concerning the crucifixion.

Another reviewer on Amazon.com noted that there is another version of this book read by McDowell himself. Search that one out if you have to have this book in audio format.

I rate this audiobook 2 stars out of 5.

This audiobook can be found on Amazon.com here: Beyond Belief to Convictions.

Reviewed on March 10, 2009.